Archive | September 2012

Addicts, alcoholics cannot run in party list elections

Describing the party list system as a “joke”, Commission on Election (Comelec) chairman Sixto Brillantes announced the disqualification of several groups applying for accreditation as party lists in the coming elections in 2013. The Philippine constitution allots a certain proportion of the legislature to the marginalized and underrepresented sectors of society through the party list system. Unfortunately, the constitution did not define what “marginalized” and “underrepresented” mean.

For instance, Mikey Arroyo, son of former president Gloria Arroyo, is the current representative for the group ostensibly representing security guards.

Making the front-page news is that among the groups prohibited from running in 2013 is the Addicts and Alcoholics Carrying the Message Association (AACMA, INC). Hello, we might as well have a group representing psychotics in congress. Reports indicate that ex-congressman Ronald Singson plans to protest the disqualification of AACMA, INC.

Thieves, scammers, kickback artists and the like were also not allowed to join the party list elections. The SAmahan ng mga Kawatan, Mandurugas, atbp Inc (SAKIM) was disqualified because their party platform was not clear, because the party nominees were multimillionaires and definitely not marginalized, and because their special interests were definitely not underrepresented in congress. Reports indicate that two-thirds of the congressmen plan to protest the disqualification of SAKIM.

Maybe it’s that time of the month

In time for American Idol Season 11 finalist Jessica Sanchez’ first visit to the Philippines, Courtney Bleeding Blooding (photo, said to be singer Charice Pempengco’s manager) sent out a series of tweets ranting about Filipinos claiming Jessica as one of their own.

“If only the people of the Philippines would stop looking elsewhere and focus on local things, maybe they could see the value of many of the great people and resources there.”

“It’s kind of a turn off to a foreigner such as myself cuz it can come across as ungrateful for the talent and resources God gave.”

Bloody hell, them’s fighting words.

While Blooding tweets that: “It’s not really at Charice’s expense…I mean there is room for everyone and people will love or hate no matter what. But I just think it’s kind of wrong to say Jessica is part of Filipino pride when she is American before anything else. ” . . .

The intent eventually shows up: “and they only wanted to claim Charice after people in the USA put value in her. It’s wrong for both singers. Sorry, I’m just feeling a bit indignant about the situation.”

Move on, Bloody Blondie! It’s like tennis star Andy Murray being British when he wins, but Scot when he loses. Or did you notice the news the following day after an American Idol episode? Jessica was Fil-Am when she did well, but Fil-Mex-Am when she was off a bit.

By the way, isn’t Charice the same girl they tried to make more palatable to Americans by: 1. cutting parts of her face off, and 2. cutting off her weird sounding (even for Filipinos) family name?

This one may be American . . .

But this one certainly tries hard to look American . . .

{joke

Why do they call it P.M.S.? Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

/joke}

Virus alert!

These are real viruses, not the kind that Norton and AVG can take care of.

A mosquito-borne viral disease has affected over 100 residents of Surigao del Sur in southern Philippines. The Chikungunya virus, named for the stooped appearance of those afflicted, caused the epidemic in at least two villages in the province.

Another virus that the Department of Health and the World Health Organization are monitoring in the Philippines is the Coronavirus (actual photo and schematic diagram of virus below), which has affected a number of people in the Middle East. All international airports in the country are on alert for passengers coming from the area.

Corona virus

Here is a list of the viruses to watch out for, together with their distinctive symptoms:

Chikungunya virus – Fever, joint pains and swelling, rashes, headache and weakness are seen less than a week after the mosquito bite. The disease is often mistaken for dengue fever, which is also mosquito-borne and presents with similar symptoms.

Coronavirus – Those infected often talk for over 3 hours, develop hypoglycemia, and then collapse, needing wheelchair assistance. Patients are known to develop a strong fetish for high-end condominium units.

Serenovirus – Delusions (such as claiming Divine intervention for political appointments) is the most prominent symptom. Psychological tests are necessary for this condition.

Aquinovirus – Government offices are afraid to let in someone with this virus, which causes the person to criticize face to face, in a blunt and tactless manner. Patients sometimes feel lazy, and just while away their time lying down or playing video games, a medical symptom called “Noynoying.”

Sottovirus – Afflicted people can blurt out entire paragraphs verbatim from Internet blogs. Advanced states of the disease can result in the patient quoting dead American politicians word for word, but in Tagalog. Illogical thinking and inability to apologize have been observed to happen commonly.

Santiagovirus – While sometimes exhibiting flashes of brilliance, the end result of infection is more often than not, brain damage. Patients are usually seen shouting at people who they perceive to be less intelligent than they are, and also mouthing corny pick up line jokes.

Enrile-Trillanes word war worsens

The word war between Senate President Juan Ponce Enrile and Senator Antonio Trillanes IV shows no sign of stopping, providing entertainment and confusion to the general public.

It started (I think) with Trillanes not appreciating Enrile’s supposed railroading of the bill gerrymandering Camarines into 3 provinces to make room for former president Gloria Arroyo’s political ally (one of the Villafuerte factions). It turns out that the issue is more about Trillanes’ meeting with Chinese diplomats/businessmen about the Scarborough shoal (ang layo naman). Trillanes invokes national security, charging Enrile with spilling classified documents such as the notes of ailing Philippine ambassador to China, Sonia Brady. Enrile calls Trillanes a “coward” and a “fraud.” Trillanes claims President PNoy Aquino authorized him to be a backchannel negotiator. PNoy needed 2 days to think of an excuse and eventually settled with “Yes I authorized him, but he was the one who came up with the idea” or words to that effect. Trillanes calls Enrile a “lackey” of former PGMA. Former president Arroyo’s spokeswoman Elena Bautista Horn denies that Arroyo is even speaking to JPE. Trillanes calls Foreign Affairs Secretary Albert del Rosario a “war freak,” then tries to deny doing so despite witness accounts. Del Rosario, a real diplomat, keeps quiet. JPE denies receiving any call from Arroyo and calls Trillanes’ backchannel negotiations as selling out to the Chinese. Palace spokesman Edwin Lacierda leaves Trillanes hanging out to dry, saying the senator can explain his statements. Trillanes even drags businessman Manuel V. Pangilinan to the fray, citing competition with Chinese businessmen. MVP is monumentally pissed, and cuts all ties to Ateneo threatens to move back to Hong Kong.

Keeping up with the body count? Me neither.

In an effort to enlighten the public on the matter, ABS-CBN enlisted popular TV personality Vice Ganda to explain the backchannel issue, in language the masses can comprehend.

Vice replies “Backchannel? Ay gusto ko yan! Payag akong magpa-backchannel kay Sonny Trillanes anytime!”

Royal Wedding in Brunei

Princess Hajah Hafizah Sururul Bolkiah, daughter of the Sultan of Brunei, wed civil servant Pengiran Haji Muhammad Ruzaini in lavish ceremonies at the 1,700-room palace in Brunei. The bride and groom exchanged their vows in front of  family and friends, royals and international dignitaries. Some estimate the cost of the wedding at $20 million, or what Bolkiah calls less than a day’s income.

Later in the week-long festivities, the couple was formally presented to the royal court in an elaborate ceremony attended by South East Asian heads of state. Among these are (left to right) Philippine President Benigno Aquino, Cambodia’s Prime Minister Hun Sen, Thai Prime Minister Yingluck Shinawatra and Saudi Arabia’s Prince Faisal bin Saud bin Abdul Mohsen bin Abdul Aziz.

The Philippine president, still a bachelor at age 52, was heard muttering “Pressure, pressure.”

Pinoy nurses win $1million in “English-only” suit

Sixty-nine Filipino nurses working at the Delano Regional Medical Center in California finally wins a case they filed against the hospital in 2010. The nurses were banned from speaking in Tagalog while on duty and were subjected to harassment. The hospital has an “English-only” policy, but apparently allows Spanish-speaking employees to speak in their native tongue. The $1million settlement will be divided equally among the workers. This may be the largest settlement for a workplace language discrimination case so far in the USA.

The case obviously stemmed from an anti-immigrant sentiment sweeping the country. It appears Americans want foreign-born workers to speak only impeccable American English, examples of which are as follows:

“Your in America. Speak English.”

“English is our language. No excetions. Learn it”

“Respect are-country. Speak English.”

“Make English America’s Offical Language.”

“This is America and our only Langguage is English.”

“Speak English or get the f*** out. Everyone has the right to be stupid BUTT your abusing that privilege.”

“Virgin birth” reported

A study published recently, reports instances of facultative parthenogenesis (FP), or asexual reproduction by bisexual species, in snakes. Warren Booth of the University of Tulsa, in Oklahoma, was lead author of the paper describing “virgin birth” in copperhead and cottonmouth snakes caught in the wild. FP apparently occurred even when there were males around.

FP happens when a polar body containing the mother’s DNA fertilizes an egg. The offspring therefore has DNA only from the mother, as confirmed by microsatellite DNA genotyping. The phenomenon is most commonly seen in reptiles, birds, and sharks.

In humans, the last instance of “virgin birth” was recorded more than 2,000 years ago.

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