A woman in a restaurant chokes on a piece of meat. A doctor in the next table sees the woman clutching her throat, in obvious distress. The doctor asks the woman to stand, raises her skirt, and then pulls her panties down. He proceeds to lick her butt cheek. The woman is so shocked that her diaphragm goes into a violent spasm, and dislodges the piece of meat from her throat. “Thank you for saving my life,” she tells the doctor, “but what the hell was that thing you did?” The doctor replies, “It’s called the Hind Lick Maneuver.”
Here’s a story you can really sink your teeth into.
John Collazos, 47, a Colombian immigrant in Davie, Florida, has been practicing dentistry without a license, which is classified as a misdemeanor in the state. He has set up what appears to be legitimate dentistry equipment in a warehouse clinic.
A woman patient complained to police that the quack acted inappropriately when she consulted for toothache. Collazos apparently applied a paste to her gums, which didn’t work. He then proceeded to inject a medicine in her buttocks. The woman claimed that the fake dentist then kissed her butt and touched her genitalia. A raid was made on the “clinic” and Collazos was arrested by the town’s SWAT team in a nearby parking lot.
Sounds like Collazos was looking to get to the bottom of the woman’s dental problems. Before the injection, did he reassure her that she would just feel a little prick? Maybe Collazos wanted to fill her cavity. But his tongue-in-cheek approach is expected to be the butt of jokes. In fact, they almost write themselves.
Personally, I am completely outraged by the shenanigans shown here. You mean to tell me, the police sent a SWAT team to take care of a misdemeanor? Talk about wasting tax money.
Former Singaporean prime minister Goh Chok Tong commented some years back that he wished Singaporeans could sing more like Filipinos, apparently referring to his people’s lack of emotion. And now we have the statistical data to back up that perception.
A Gallup poll conducted the past three years showed that Filipinos are the most emotional people in the world. And wealthy Singapore is at the bottom of the list. Using telephone and face-to-face interviews, 1,000 adults per year in 150 countries were asked if they experienced any of five positive and five negative emotions the previous day. Six out of 10 Pinoys said they did, making the Philippines the most emotional place on Earth. A smattering of Middle East and Latin American countries came next. On the other hand, only 36% of the stoic Singaporeans admitted to experiencing any emotion. The tiny Asian state narrowly beat out half the (vodka-anesthetized) republics of the former USSR.
Gallup partner and director of the Gallup Government Group Jon Clifton said, “If you measure Singapore by the traditional indicators, they look like one of the best-run countries in the world. But if you look at everything that makes life worth living, they’re not doing so well.”
As expected, reaction to the survey results was mixed. Reports showed that most Filipinos were ecstatic; some even cried with joy at the news. The vast majority of Singaporeans, however, said they didn’t feel anything, or were not affected at all.
Bench is again holding it’s semi-annual underwear and denim fashion show at the Mall of Asia Arena. As usual, TV and movie stars, together with an assortment of models, put on skimpy outfits created by Pinoy fashion designers.
Oddly familiar isn’t it?
Where have I seen those before? Hmm.
Ah yes! Victoria’s (Not So) Secret’s fashion show.
In the gallery,
copycat comedian (moonlighting as senator) Tito Sotto, was heard screaming “Plagiarism! Plagiarism!”
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